A couple of times a month, in the Church I normally attend my Sunday Mass, I serve as a lector. Today, the reading I had to do was from St. Paul. Probably he is the one whom I identify most from the writers of the Bible. I love his temper and character. He is such a powerful man, full of energy and love for Christ, but at the same time he learns from his weaknesses and is humble enough to amend his mistakes.
Today’s reading was really moving to me. I felt as if I had written those words I was speaking aloud in front of my fellow parishioners. I copy the text for you below:
“I speak the truth in Christ, I do not lie; my conscience joins with the holy Spirit in bearing me witness that I have great sorrow and constant anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and separated from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kin according to the flesh. They are Israelites; theirs the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises; theirs the patriarchs, and from them, according to the flesh, is the Messiah. God who is over all be blessed forever. Amen.”
Rom. 9, 1-9
I just put in bold the phrase that really shocked me from the text. Why? You may ask if I am constantly depressed. Probably I was… before. A few years ago, I found light on my path and I decided to change for my own sake. And I discover the world of love which transformed me deeply and it is still changing day-by-day.
Yesterday on my way outside, I had my Ipod on and was listening to some relaxing music while walking. I felt as if I was flying and not walking. I was totally transported into a different reality for a few moments. I saw the faces of all the people around me, full of sadness, anger, depression, emptiness… probably only a few of them reflected a great inner peace and joy. The majority were totally absorbed by their duties… running from place to place, shouting, busy on the phone, fighting against each other in the middle the crazy traffic of my town… and there I was, floating and watching with a new vision. I simply shut up my mind and my mouth… there were no more thoughts or ideas…
When I finally woke up from that kind of trance, if you want to call it like that, I felt sorrow and pity for them. I am not better than them, but I found in my life what they all lack of. I got a precious treasure and I don’t want to change it anymore, because that brings me life and hope. I don’t feel like going back to what I was, a seeker of the unknown right in the darkness.
Probably this post might sound strange or difficult to stomach for some of you. Even myself I find it kind of pointless. But probably He wants me to write this to make you think and apply it to your personal situation.
Life is so full vanities and vain things… We can make it different! We can change the nature and the dimension of things. Love is the matter of this new reality, the substance which transforms things and brings us into a new world. Freely is given to you, but it is up to you whether to choose it or not.
Therefore, I encourage you all to keep tracking it, wherever it may be. Look for it earnestly and once you find it, don’t let it go. If you are hungry for it, you are already on the right path...
Striving for Love,